New Australian research has shed light on how domestic violence unfolds over time, with early warning signs often appearing well before physical or sexual abuse begins.
The study called Timelines of psychological, physical and sexual intimate partner violence among a nationally representative sample of Australian women was published in Women’s Health and The Conversation.
It surveyed 815 women across Australia who had experienced intimate partner violence (IPV) in the past five years, and offers critical insights for early intervention and prevention.
The findings show a common pattern: relationships often begin with psychological abuse, which then escalates to physical and, in some cases, sexual violence.
It found that psychological abuse frequently begins before couples move in together or marry, with this stage marked by manipulative and restrictive behaviours, designed to control and isolate the individual.
Participants described early red flags such as being cut off from friends or colleagues, or being emotionally punished through stonewalling or gaslighting.
The study’s timeline-based method helped illustrate how these abuses typically escalate in a relationship.
First came isolation and control, followed by more overt emotional abuse. Physical violence tended to begin after a major life commitment, such as moving in or having children.
For many women, the presence of children and the harm inflicted on them marked the turning point for seeking support or exiting the relationship.
The research represents one of the first large-scale efforts to document the chronological progression of survivors’ own words and timelines.
The Illawarra Women’s Trauma Recovery Centre is a place for women to heal and rebuild their lives if they have or are experiencing domestic, family and sexual violence.
Dr Karen Williams, Head of Programs and the Illawarra Women’s Trauma Recovery Centre, said the results underscore the urgent need for awareness and training across health, community, and legal sectors, particularly during key life transitions such as pregnancy or cohabitation.
“Abusive relationships do not typically start off overtly or obviously abusive. This is an important feature to be aware of as victims in these relationships often blame themselves and question how they ‘didn’t see the signs’,” she said.
“Part of the emotional manipulation is hooking the victim in with declarations of love, gift-giving and portraying the relationship as being ‘special’ and ‘unlike any other love’. Even the little red flags are disguised as signs of love, ‘I’m only jealous because I love you so much,’ ‘I don’t want you to spend time with these people because I love you’.”
“Coercive control underpins all abusive relationships, where the threat may be physical, but may also be financial or social. It is about attempting to control a person’s behaviour using a variety of strategies, and some of those strategies are not violent at all.
“Clinically, we see long-term effects including complex trauma, depression, and anxiety disorders. With growing recognition of its serious impact on women’s health and its role in escalating to severe violence, we must intervene early. The recent move by states like Queensland and New South Wales to criminalise coercive control is a necessary step toward protecting women and preventing further harm.”
“We need widespread training across health, legal, and community sectors to recognise and respond to this form of abuse before it escalates.”
If you are affected by any of the themes in this article, please contact our team at the Illawarra Women’s Trauma Recovery Centre.
